‘If men can openly talk about sex, why can’t women?’ , Girl shares her experience

‘If men can openly talk about sex, why can’t women?’ , Girl shares her experience

If a man can openly talk about sex, can’t a woman do the same? This disturbing question raised by the American singer Julia Michaels in one of her interviews.

22-Year old Cruaria Demy shares her opinions and experience :

Something that happened during my college days made me believe that I was a ‘bad girl’ because I was compulsively honest about my views on sexual discourses or preferences. Fifteen years later, I still cannot forget how people reacted when I talked openly about sex.

Those were the days when not many knew what sapiosexual meant and when I said that I find intelligence sexually attractive, a few of my friends stared at me in disbelief. Some even went ahead and asked, “What does intelligence has to do with sex? This is something girls like you say only to attract boys’ attention!” 

If being sapiosexual was not bad enough, when I voiced my opinion on how virginity is an overrated concept and that it’s just a choice and not a yardstick to measure a girl’s ‘chastity’, I became the girl ‘who was asking for sex’. One of my friends even asked me if I was a virgin or not? It was very difficult for me to explain that virginity is a personal choice and I have the right to not discuss it openly.

Interestingly, I was even judged for breaking-up with my boyfriend and then going out with another guy. My ex-partner was almost hero-worshipped because he went on bragging about what we did in private, and the moment I said that I didn’t find him sexually attractive, I was called a ‘fast’ girl. It didn’t come as a shock when half of my friends almost treated me like an outcast because I chose to break up a relationship based on my sexual preference.

Sadly, girls with a good sense of humour is not always a good companion, at least, that’s what I learnt from my experience. After the bad experience of a break-up, I sought comfort in humour. Whenever, anyone asked me about my status with my boyfriend, I used to say something funny like, “I broke the relationship and my legs for spreading it too wide!” or something like, “He is my boyFREEnd!”. Some took it in good spirit and a few shut me up saying, “Your sense of humour is sickening. Stop acting funny!”

Dating a guy, who was my junior, was the final nail in the coffin. Rumours about how I was corrupting his young mind to being a manipulator who does not even spare young boys, started cropping up every now and then. Finally, I just stopped reacting because I grew tired of being the girl whom everyone avoided . It wasn’t easy to kill the ‘bad girl’ in me, but I did manage to survive.