Know what is ‘phubbing’: The habit that can ruin your relationships

Phubbing is  a contraction of the words ‘phone snubbing’. It is the act of ignoring a companion in favor of using a smartphone. The word ‘phubbing’ was created in 2012 as part of a marketing campaign by the publishers of the Macquarie Dictionary. Phubbers may use their smartphones  to check social media, text others who are not present or for any other activities.

‘When individuals consistently prioritise their phones over face-to-face communication, it can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration and a sense of being undervalued by those who are being ‘phubbed’. It deteriorates the quality of social interactions — making them feel shallow and disconnected,’ says  Dr Rahul Chandhok, head consultant, mental health and behavioural science, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon.

‘Chronic phubbing can have long-term consequences, potentially leading to relationship dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and even separation or divorce in extreme cases,’  Dr Chandhok said.

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Phubbing can be characterised by a range of behaviours.  ‘From frequent scrolling on your phone, escaping your emotional reaction by using your phone, choosing your phone over your partner to stop enjoy interacting with your close ones and not paying attention to their feelings, can constitute phubbing,’ Dr Shweta Sharma, consultant clinical psychologist, Manipal Hospitals, Gurugram explained.

A recent study in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that higher levels of phubbing lead to marital dissatisfaction. Additionally, one paper published in the Frontiers in Psychology revealed that it can cause feelings of distrust and ostracism.

Tips to overcome this issue:

Open communication: Express your feelings calmly and honestly to the person who is phubbing you. Let them know how their behaviour makes you feel neglected and why it’s important to you.

Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries regarding device use during quality time together.

Plan device-free activities: Suggest activities that don’t involve screens, such as hiking, board games, or simply going for a walk.

Self-awareness: Recognise when you’re prone to phubbing and why you do it. Understanding your triggers can help you address the behaviour.

Prioritise relationships: Make an effort to prioritise face-to-face interactions and value the time spent with loved ones.

Digital detox: Consider setting aside specific times or spaces where devices are off-limits, such as during meals or in the bedroom. Use apps or settings to limit screen time.

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation to stay present in the moment.