Several people see dating as overly scary and decidedly undesirable. Dating adds fuel to the fire of anxiety. This kind of anxiety and shyness can also make a person avoid meeting new people, feel lonely and lose hope of ever finding a compatible partner.
Talia Koren, a popular dating coach and podcaster has shared some useful tips for managing early dating anxiety.
Tips for managing early dating anxiety:
1. Be aware of your negative thought patterns: Be aware that your thoughts are not reality. And it’s totally normal for your brain to do this, but it doesn’t mean you need to act on these thoughts.
2. Interrupt negative thought patterns: When you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts consider writing it down on a notepad and then move on. Do an errand, make plans with a friend, go work out, do some chores, focus on work etc.
3. Show yourself compassion: Stop getting mad at yourself for having anxiety. Recognize that it’s a way your brain is trying to protect you.
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4. Focus on the facts: When you feel out of control in your early dating situation, zoom out and focus on reality. Focus on the facts, not the what-ifs.
5. Assess the situation: Always assess the real problem or issue (if there is one) to see if action needs to be taken. If yes, make a plan to resolve it.
6. Give yourself reassurance: Tell yourself everything will be okay, that it will work out, and don’t forget that you always have you.
7. Pause: When you feel like you’re in a highly activated, anxious state, practice the pause. Take a breath. Don’t act or do anything when you’re in this state of mind. Tell yourself you will handle it when you’re more clearheaded.
8. Consider therapy: One of the best and most efficient ways to learn to manage anxiety is to work with a therapist.
9. Prioritising your peace of mind: Ending a relationship with someone whose behaviour consistently triggers your anxiety early on can be a wise decision.
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