Jealousy occurs when someone or something else is perceived as a threat to your relationship. Retroactive jealousy means feeling threatened by your partner’s past relationships or experiences. Retroactive jealousy refers to resentment about your partner’s past relationships. It could be about their past interactions with other people or the actions they took in those relationships.
Dating coach and relationship expert Talia shared signs of retroactive jealousy and tips to deal with it in her recent Instagram post.
Signs of retroactive jealousy:
1. Checking up on their ex on social media
2. Constantly asking questions about past relationships
3. Snooping to see if they’ve kept anything from their past relationships, such as photos
4. They make snarky or sarcastic comments about your ex
5. Comparing yourself to their ex openly or just mentally
6. They suspect you’re still in contact with your ex and may still have feelings for them whether it’s true or not
If you feel retroactive jealousy then communicate with your partner. Encourage your partner to open up about their feelings and validate their pain. Lastly, if your partner’s retroactive jealousy has a negative impact on your day-to-day life, and they’re not willing to work through it or get help, leaving is likely the best option.
Managing retroactive jealousy depends on the extent of the problem. Doing these activities will help to overcome the issue:
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Self-reflection exercises like journaling or meditation
Refraining from engaging in things that lead to feeling jealous, such as social media searches
Talking to others or joining a support group
Working on lowering stress levels
Accepting that everyone has past experiences and that the past can’t be changed
Practicing reframing (such as recognizing that social media posts reflect the highlights and isn’t an accurate portrayal of a person or a relationship)
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