Stonewalling is a persistent refusal to communicate or to express emotions in a relationship. It is also known as the silent treatment. It is defined as a refusal to communicate or cooperate with someone. This refusal can be physical, verbal, or emotional. It often takes the form of ignoring someone completely or refusing to respond to their requests or inquiries. The stonewaller will usually remain expressionless and unresponsive, refusing to engage in conversations or respond to questions.
Stonewalling can have serious impacts on a relationship. It can create feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, and isolation in the person receiving the silent treatment. This can lead to feelings of extreme frustration and can cause resentment between partners.
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One of the most common causes of stonewalling is when one partner is feeling overwhelmed by the other’s emotions. They may be feeling attacked or overwhelmed by the other’s anger, sadness, or disappointment. The stonewaller may be trying to protect themselves from feeling overwhelmed by their partner’s emotions and trying to shut down communication so they don’t have to face them head-on.
It is important to understand that stonewalling doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t care about you. It is important to remain calm and demonstrate understanding. Do not take it personally and do not become defensive – your partner may be feeling overwhelmed and just needs some space.
It can also be helpful for both partners to practice mindful communication. This involves speaking calmly and listening actively without becoming defensive or attacking one another. When both partners practice mindful communication, it creates an atmosphere of safety in which both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or criticism from the other person.
Seek professional help if stonewalling persists or becomes a regular occurrence. A therapist can provide tools and resources for working through difficult conversations in a productive manner.