Sex is one of the peak expressions of intimacy in a relationship. Post-sex aftercare not only enhances the intimacy but also impacts the sexual satisfaction as well. It act as the final touch that reassures, nurtures, and solidifies the experience.
Not all intimate experiences are alike, while some may seek closeness, comfort and reassurance after sex, others may not feel the same need. However, post-sex care plays a big role in reinforcing emotional connection and intimacy.
Not all couples need aftercare after sex. But for some, it can be grounding and reinforce their attachment to their partner. Particularly if sex is intense, it can bring up vulnerability in both partners. Being aware that each of you has different needs after sex is important. Just because someone falls asleep doesn’t mean they don’t care. Ask for what you need, if it makes sex more satisfying for you to cuddle afterward, make sure your partner knows you want to be held, or appreciated.
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Some couples like to review the sex they have just had by appreciating what was good for them, complimenting their partner, and discussing briefly how much they felt connected. Not everyone needs verbal appreciation, some might need to hear ‘I love you’ or ‘that was amazing,’ but others prefer quiet and physical contact to help ground the experience.”
Post-sex care is an expectation, not a necessity; it’s a need, not a requirement. People in a relationship may have completely different understandings of post-sex interaction, or none at all. Sometimes, people may seem distant after sex.
If you feel your partner does not have the same needs after sex, first recognize that men have a drop in testosterone levels after ejaculation and need time to ‘reboot.’ Being tired after sex doesn’t mean they are aloof, it could mean they want to absorb the experience and delight in the energy of being together. If you need something else after sex, ask your partner if it would be okay to say something you each appreciated about the experience, or make an appointment to do it the day after. It can be nice to hear what was erotic or sexy about the experience, and what you each enjoyed.
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